One parent to another: Surviving Back-to-School Season

Hey there,

And welcome to back-to-school season!!! The magical time of year when every parent suddenly becomes a full-time event planner, chef, psychologist, laundry guru, and referee.

Let’s be real: the first day of school sneaks up like an uninvited houseguest. One minute you’re soaking up the last rays of summer freedom, and the next you’re knee-deep in a tsunami of new backpacks, lunchboxes, permission slips, and questions that start with “Mom, where’s my—?”

The mornings? Forget about it. Back-to-school mornings are like the Olympics of multitasking, minus the gold medal.

So if you're feeling stressed, scattered, or just plain tired, I want you to know: you're not alone. I've been there (still am, to be honest), and over the years I’ve picked up a few simple things that actually help. These aren’t magic fixes, but they do make the chaos feel a little more manageable.

Here are five real-life ways I’ve learned to cope with back-to-school stress, shared from one parent to another.

1. Take a Breath-Literally

Parenting two emotional teenagers means meltdowns are inevitable, especially on hectic mornings when we're all running late. One moment, my sweet child is there; the next, it's a storm of anger and chaos, testing my patience and sanity. My instinct is to snap back, but I’ve learned that reacting in the heat of the moment only escalates things.

So now, when I feel the tension rising, I pause and take a few intentional breaths: inhale through my nose for 4 seconds, hold for 4, and exhale through my mouth for 6. I repeat this a few times.

It’s not always easy, but those breaths give me a small reset. They create a gap between the chaos and my response, helping me stay calm and respond with patience instead of frustration.

And that pause matters. It reminds me I’m still in control of my own emotions and it models for my teens that it’s okay to feel big feelings and take a moment to breathe through them.

Breathing may seem simple, but it’s one of the most powerful tools I have for navigating the emotional storms of parenting.

2. Make Mornings Easier (Not Perfect)

I used to try and win the “most organized parent” award every morning (spoiler: no one’s handing out trophies). I’d hustle to get everyone out the door perfectly packed, dressed, and on time, often at the expense of my own sanity. The goal was always some imaginary gold star for having it all together.

Now? I prep what I can the night before: outfits, lunches, backpacks, and I’ve learned to give myself a little grace when things don’t go according to plan. Some mornings are smooth, some are chaos. But I’ve stopped tying my worth as a parent to how “together” everything looks.

Because here’s the truth: our kids are always watching. When I let go of perfection and treat myself with kindness, they learn it's okay to be human too, that mistakes aren’t failures, that a tough morning doesn’t define the whole day. Modeling self-compassion teaches them resilience, self-worth, and how to handle life when it doesn’t go perfectly.

If we leave the house with mismatched socks but no meltdowns, I call that a win. And if there is a meltdown, but we all recover? That’s a win too.

3. Say No More Often

I’ve learned the hard way that I can’t do everything and I don’t need to. For a long time, I tried. I said yes to every request, every extra commitment, every opportunity to “be involved,” even when it stretched me too thin. I believed that being a good parent, partner, friend or just a competent adult meant showing up for everything and everyone. But the truth is that kind of constant output isn’t sustainable, and it certainly isn’t healthy.

These days, I say no to the things that drain me, and yes to what actually matters to our family. That might mean skipping the Pinterest-worthy themed lunches or letting go of the guilt that creeps in when I don’t volunteer for one more committee or bake sale. Not because I don’t care, but because I care too much to burn out. Say that with me “ I care too much to burn out.” Louder now, for the parents in the back “I CARE TOO MUCH TO BURN OUT!”

And that’s where boundaries come in. Boundaries are a way of saying, “This is what I can give without compromising my well-being.” They help me protect the energy I need for the people and priorities that matter most. Setting boundaries is an act of self-respect, and honestly, one of the most powerful forms of self-care I’ve found.

When I choose rest over hustle, presence over perfection, and alignment over approval, I show up better for my family, and for myself. I’m not trying to be everything to everyone anymore. I’m just trying to be enough for the life I’m actually living and that is more than okay.

You get to choose what your enough looks like. It might not look like anyone else’s and that’s kind of the point. Because the more we honor our limits, the more space we make for what really matters.

4. Find Your People

Whether it’s a text thread with a couple of fellow parent or a quick, tired chat at school drop-off, talking to someone who gets it makes a world of difference. Sometimes it’s just a glance, a shared laugh, or a simple “Ugh, same here” that reminds me, I’m not the only one figuring this out as I go. Some of my most validating grounding moments have come from those brief, honest exchanges. Not advice, not solutions, just solidarity.

Because parenting (and let’s be honest, life in general) can feel incredibly isolating when you think you’re supposed to carry it all alone. But we weren’t meant to do this alone. We’re wired for connection. For community. For those little lifelines of support that whisper, you’re doing okay, even when everything feels messy and uncertain.

Community doesn’t always look like a big, organized village, it’s often the small things: a friend who drops off coffee, another parent who shares a hack that changed their morning routine, a neighbor who watches your kid for ten minutes so you can breathe. These small acts of mutual support remind us that we’re not in this alone, and we don’t have to pretend to have it all together.

So if you’re feeling stretched, overwhelmed, or just plain tired, reach out. Text the friend. Start the conversation. Let someone in. Because connection doesn’t just lighten the load, it fills the heart.

5. Give Yourself 10 Minutes

I used to think self-care had to be big and time-consuming a full spa day, a weekend away, some perfectly curated “me time” that felt totally out of reach. And because I couldn’t make that happen, I told myself I just didn’t have the time or money for self-care at all.

Now? I’ve learned to look for tiny windows. Ten quiet minutes with a hot cup of coffee before the house wakes up. A quick stretch in the kitchen; scrolling memes that make me laugh; A solo walk around the block; A DIY manicure, A spicy book ;) Even just sitting in the quiet and letting myself breathe. It’s not glamorous, but it’s real. And it helps.

Self-care isn’t about escaping your life. It’s about sustaining yourself through it. It’s about noticing what fills your tank and making space for it, even if that space is small and imperfect. Those little moments of intention add up and remind you that you matter, too.

Self-care isn’t selfish. That’s a myth we need to let go of, especially in parenthood. Taking care of yourself doesn't mean you're neglecting your family, it means you're protecting the energy you need to show up for them with patience, love, and presence. You can’t pour from an empty cup, and trying to do so doesn’t make you a better parent, it just makes you more exhausted.

Here’s the other piece we don’t talk about enough: it’s okay, necessary, even, to protect your identity in parenthood. You’re still a whole person. You still get to enjoy things that light you up. You still get to have goals, opinions, hobbies, and dreams. Parenthood may change you, but it doesn’t have to erase you.

And honestly? That’s something powerful for our kids to see. When they watch us care for ourselves, honor our needs, set boundaries, and make time for joy, they learn that it's normal and healthy to do the same. They learn that becoming a caregiver doesn't mean abandoning your own identity, it means weaving it into the life you're building together.

You don’t give up who you are to be a parent. You bring who you are into your parenting. And that’s what makes it meaningful.

So whatever fills your tan, whether it’s five minutes of silence, a favorite playlist, writing, creating, moving your body, or just doing nothing for a moment, make space for it. You deserve that. You matter just as much as the people you’re caring for.

Just One More Thing...

Back-to-school stress is real, but it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong. In fact, it means you care deeply about your kids and your family and that’s something to be proud of.

So from one slightly frazzled and overwhelmed parent to another: you're doing great. One deep breath, one task at a time. We’ve got this.

Hang in there,

Miranda